10 POINTS: What do you think of my story so far?

It's really nice :) But, in the first paragraph, third sentence; "She doesn't know who this voice belongs to" Don't you think it should be "She didn't know who this voice belonged to" ? Considering that your other verbs and word usages are seemingly past-tense-esque, don't you think you should make that line similar to the others? I'm not sure, and you don't need to consider this, since it is, after all, YOUR story. But it's nice, and seems interesting. I'd like to see your story published on the net or somewhere soon. You have great potential; Keep it up~